At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
