why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
