The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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