How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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