At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
