When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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