just tell him i said nine months
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
false alarm, still single
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize