it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I'm really busy with my period
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize