it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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