The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
