there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
