so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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