Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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