I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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