so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
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I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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