Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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