So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
