it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
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I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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