Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
