if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pants are for mortals
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
