I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
