I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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