You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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