My nipple is on Facebook.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
