Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
