all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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