Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
