ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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