i think i have herpe
just one?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
