The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
