Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
