Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
