she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
