So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize