ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
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You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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