how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
my god I love twenty year old dicks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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