my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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