I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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