you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
