ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
