if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize