can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
