how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
