Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
