I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize