How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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