WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
