i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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