i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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