you would pick up someone in the library
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
