my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
