This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
