in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
