we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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