Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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