So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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