I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
