Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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