yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
