look no pants
well I can't set my house on fire every night
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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