Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
